Blech.

So not the happiest news yesterday. My cervix is shortening and that's not a good thing. It went from a 4 (great) to a 2 (not great at all) in a matter of three weeks. I was diagnosed with 'threatening pre term labor' so am now on a perscription and have to go back in on Monday for another test. If I fail that test I go to the hospital for who knows how long.

Oh yeah, and bedrest for now. Sure, that's a piece of cake with a 17 month old and no family to help. I'm angry, I'm upset- I feel like my body is failing these twins and there isn't anything I can do about it other than 'take it easy' (what the hell is that anyhow) and hope to make it another 10 weeks.

This stinks.

Help....?

So I need to figure out what to do about getting non-familial help. Don't get me wrong, our families are great...but. First of all they have things to do as well- and I don't expect, nor do I really desire anyone to come running here (12 hours from where they live) to assist me with this undertaking.

HOW do I find a reasonable mother's helper? What do I pay? Since I am going to be home with them, what should my expectaions be? What should they expect of me? There are times when I just want to fast forward to a year from now and feel like things are under control. Haha, then I forget that a year from now has its own isssues there too!

Feeling...uncomfortable.

So here we are at 24 weeks today and I have no idea how I am going to make it. If all goes well, we still have 13 more to go( that's my goal- 37, but I will take 38). My skin is stretched so tight- and breathing has become difficult with my lungs shoved upwards. Also, my stomach is squished so even though food LOOKS good, I can no longer eat as much as I'd like. I digress, everyone is healthy and that's what counts, right?

We met a friend for lunch today- it was 97 degrees. If anyone ever says anything to you about how it must really suck to be pregnant in the summer- yeah it does. But in all honesty- it's the combo of everything that makes it so difficult...and chasing a 16 month old in the process (as well as having two in your uterus) doesn't make it any easier!

So let me back up a minute...

Ok-- so I am a mom of a 16 month old, and pregnant with twins. Two more boys. I kept telling myself that I wanted to get this blog rolling, and I do....it's just that, well...I'm not always ready to sit down peacefully and write away. Haha. I am guessing you may know the feeling.

Anyhow, this is not just a blog to constantly link giveaways I am trying to win. I actually have things to say- I just need the time and energy to say them!