Not feeling so hot.

So today we are 34 w 5 d and I am feeling very strange. I have a doc appt tomorrow, but to be honest I don't want to wait. I have some pressure, cramps, back pain- and strangest of all some twinges around my old c scar. I'm anxious to have these guys, but I really wanted to at LEAST hit 35 weeks on Tuesday.

Guess I'll call L&D and see what they say. Why must hospital beds be hell on earth though????

33 weeks! And..

oh am I done. I never got to this point with my son- but I am just physically and mentally DONE at this point. Of course the torture is knowing my boys need a few more weeks in there- but selfishly I am so sick of this bed rest and this 'discomfort'- which really doesn't even cover it.

I am thankful that everyone is doing well- first and foremost. Secondly, I am sleeping. Third, my son is watched during the day, happy and safe. Well, as safe as he can be with my mother and 90 year old grandmother 'watching' him. Whole can o worms I won't even get into.

But today, something happened that I had been expecting. I went to my high risk/multiples doc and they want to start the testing for pre-e. I had it with my son, so I know the drill- but I really thought I could avoid it this time...mostly because I wasn't working my high stress job- and I'm in bed all day. I guess what I had stacked against me was the twins and a previous experience with it.

I start the urine test tomorrow, then blood work on Friday. I know if I show signs of it they will take the boys next week. That will be 34 weeks- which is our second HUGE milestone- but I wanted them to cook as long as they could. Like I said, I am thankful they currently are doing well and gaining weight- but I hate it to end like this. It's like all this bed rest and everything has been for naught.

I just have to keep thinking positive and hold out that I don't develop it...we shall have to see.

Yay for 30!

I try not to get too excited about things- because it seems whenever I get TOO optimistic I get bad news. So, I am going to quietly celebrate hitting 30 weeks today, passing my fetal fibronectin test, and passing the cervical check (no dilation). I did, however, agree to staying here in the hospital another week- just to be safe.

I know if I go home I will just end up coming right back. My mother is there- and we do not get along very well- I know I would allow her to stress me out into a full blown contraction session on a regular basis. The problem, of course, is how much I miss my son. Oh it's killing me not to see him every day. But, when he comes here- he is kind of a disaster in the room and always ends up getting hurt by tripping on the floor or banging into the wall. He's clumsy like someone else I know.

Anyhow- I wasn't making some big celebration on Facebook today since like I said I wanted things to remain low key. I am getting more and more excited with every day that passes to meet these two boys beating the crap out of my stomach. I guess it really shouldn't be as surreal as it is- but I still can't get over it. I am still as dumbfounded as I was April 2nd and we found out we were about to get double the trouble--just much, much closer to the finish line.

If there is anyone out there reading this with advice on multiples, I'd love to hear it.

More to complain.

Here I am back again. Here since Tuesday after my cervical ultrasound showed more shortening. Now we're down to 1.3. AND baby B has extra fluid- so that is adding pressure to my cervix. I love my doc and all- and I like that he is so cautious, but oh. This sucks.

We were 29 weeks on Tuesday- and want to keep going. So the terb shots, the steroid shots, and now the glucose checks are a must. So not what I want to be doing! I am sick already of the diabetic diet- and it's literally been one day. I am here until Monday. I am so missing my apple pie ala mode that I want to cry.

This blood sugar fiasco isn't forever. Apparently the steroid shots create this havoc on my system and it should even back out.

Anyhow. I have a huge headache and just feeling sorry for myself. I am so sick of living in fear that I am going to drop these twins early.

Blah..back in the hospital week 29

Unfortunately I am spending the 18 month birthday of my son back in the hospital where I had him--alone. Well, I'm never alone- but as for people on the outside of me, yes, alone. I went back in for a cervix check today and it had gone down from a 1.9 last Tuesday to a 1.3 today. Not what we wanted to hear.

So here I am, back in the hospital on a slew of medications to stop the contractions- hoping against hope that they work so I don't a) have to go on the magnesium or b) actually go into labor. It's upsetting to say the least, but at least this time we are farther along and people seem more optomistic that this is preventative.

Good news today, is that I am on a roll with blog winnings! I won a $75 gc to Zutano for the boys' coming home outfits from Double Duty Mommy, and a neato pair of SLIX boxers for my husband from Potamus Prefers. Friday I had a double whammy with a $100 gc win to Amazon on life360's blog, and a HUGE win from Baby Gizmo's weekly giveaway- a Safety 1st Indigo Travel System. I consider myself very, very lucky---and being on bed rest entering contests all day long doesn't hurt :)

Week 28 and counting...

So yesterday I hit week 28! We're pretty excited about that. I told my husband that from here on out I would like to celebrate every week with an online purchase. This actually works to his advantage- because being online all day---shopping can get a little, shall we say, tempting? So this week I picked up a beautiful Elle Macpherson nursing bra last week, a teething bling necklace, and the week before that I got a Glamourmom nursing tank. All necessary items, right? I agree. I got fantastic deals on everything too- the bra at Zulily and the teether and nursing tank at Babysteals.

Anyhow- if I limit myself to a 30.00 or so range- that's not bad at all. I mean, he's totally scoring since I can't go to Target bi-weekly as it is.

And, so far so good. Cervix was holding firm at a 1.9, and today I had the dreaded glucose test. I just hope it comes back negative since I can really only deal with one or two pregnancy catastrophes at a time- and pre term labor certainly counts as at least one.

Good updates...

So I haven't really posted anything substantial for a while- if at all. I admit I have been pretty bummed out about everything- and worrying that I was becoming depressed without any good news. Well today, I finally got some!

I had another weekly appointment- and was so nervous I thought I was going to break down. I just couldn't hear that my cervix had gotten smaller- I couldn't..and thankfully- it didn't! I held firm at a 1.8, which really relieved me. I also took the FFN (fetal fibronectin) test, which I passed!

And, news of all news, I can get rid of this damn in home contraction monitor. The doc said if it has done nothing but cause stress, and the results really aren't telling them anything- why keep doing it? He wasn't going to keep making the company money just to keep doing it (I liked that part)...but in all honesty, it had become the bane of my existence. I was so stressed out every day..just waiting. And waiting to do it. It was awful. And now- no more! Yeah!!!!

So...I stay on strict bedrest...but it's working, and that's the key. It's going to suck having to pay top dollar for a babysitter then next week and a half, but it must be done. These kids have to keep cooking!!

Bedrest.

So here we are at Day 2 of total bedrest. For anyone who has experienced it- you know how not fun it really is....it's even less fun this time around when I have a toddler.

We had to spend a very stressful night at the hospital on Wednesday, I was contracting more than the monitor liked to see- so at 11 pm we headed over. Fortunately, things slowed down quite a bit overnight, and in the morning I was still doing well. I never had to have the IV meds either- just IV fluids- which is bad enough since I hate IV's completely as it is.

So now..I just feel like a ticking time bomb.

Blech.

So not the happiest news yesterday. My cervix is shortening and that's not a good thing. It went from a 4 (great) to a 2 (not great at all) in a matter of three weeks. I was diagnosed with 'threatening pre term labor' so am now on a perscription and have to go back in on Monday for another test. If I fail that test I go to the hospital for who knows how long.

Oh yeah, and bedrest for now. Sure, that's a piece of cake with a 17 month old and no family to help. I'm angry, I'm upset- I feel like my body is failing these twins and there isn't anything I can do about it other than 'take it easy' (what the hell is that anyhow) and hope to make it another 10 weeks.

This stinks.

Feeling...uncomfortable.

So here we are at 24 weeks today and I have no idea how I am going to make it. If all goes well, we still have 13 more to go( that's my goal- 37, but I will take 38). My skin is stretched so tight- and breathing has become difficult with my lungs shoved upwards. Also, my stomach is squished so even though food LOOKS good, I can no longer eat as much as I'd like. I digress, everyone is healthy and that's what counts, right?

We met a friend for lunch today- it was 97 degrees. If anyone ever says anything to you about how it must really suck to be pregnant in the summer- yeah it does. But in all honesty- it's the combo of everything that makes it so difficult...and chasing a 16 month old in the process (as well as having two in your uterus) doesn't make it any easier!